Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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