can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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