areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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