Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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