we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
