We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
