Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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