it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My cat gives me a boner
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize