Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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