I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
