should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
