Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well I just put wine in my tea
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
