It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
