That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
