yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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