I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
