I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
