I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
