It's Friday. Sex?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
