I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
