i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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