Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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