JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
