I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize