maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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