they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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