he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
