You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
