Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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