I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
