Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
