so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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