Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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