Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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