One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize