I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
