I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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