My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Let's get the cat blown out
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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