Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
