i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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