I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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