So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
