he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
