Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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