Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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