I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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