if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
