i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
