i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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