When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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