It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
