Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
