i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
