I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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