im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
