I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
