Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize
