Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You can't motorboat a personality
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
