guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
