It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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