i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
they need to just BURY HIM!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
