her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize