Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
