The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
